[one_fourth_last] Iam not your average therapist. Most of you can walk into a therapist’s office, tell them your story about how your boyfriend or girlfriend mistreats you, cheats on you, calls you names, puts you down, ignores you, works too much, or nags you, and the therapist will ultimately confirm your victim mentality, give you […]
Tag: betrayal
Managing Abandonment Issues Through Recovery
Abandonment Issues are a consistent hypersensitivity to any and all perceived or actual distancing in a relationship. You can’t fix it. It is way too deeply embedded in the personalities of those who suffer from it. You can’t even manage it…unless as the significant other you first see it, understand it, name it and detach […]
7 Rotten Reasons to Get Together – Andrew Holzman Indianapolis Marriage Counseling
One of the most difficult and confusing questions is, “should I stay or should I leave my relationship?” By the time someone comes to therapy, they’ve spent a lot of time ruminating on the pain and problems of their relationship. My work, as a therapist, is to help you figure out if the marriage/relationship is […]
Crushed by Romantic Rejection Posted – Andrew Holzman Indianapolis Marriage Counseling
Rejection hurts and it hurts a lot. Whether the dumping happens directly or indirectly, subtly over time or quickly as if ripping off a bandage the hurt is disturbing and frightening to the partner left behind. In my experience with clients, the end has come by direct conversations or indirectly by text messages. Rejection has […]
What Marriage Is, What Marriage Is Not Indianapolis Marriage Counseling
I dearly love attending weddings. The beautiful music, the innocence, the joy and the unbridled faith in eternal love never cease to make me shed a few tears (that as a self-respecting counterdependent type I wipe away before anyone catches on). The message is almost always given that marriage is THE source for such priceless […]
The Death of Innocence
This week I offer you an anatomy of a marital affair. This isn’t one client’s story, but a collection of stories rolled into one fictional account. If you are married or in a relationship I encourage you to read this column with an open heart and mind, knowing that this could very well be your […]
You Know You’re Crazy, Right?
We are ALL crazy. If you know that about yourself then that potentially can help you to be a lot less crazy. The craziest and most dangerous people on the planet are the ones who don’t have a clue about just how crazy they really are. They are still believing myths about themselves…because they have […]
The Bone Crushing Pain of Affairs
Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic Notebook, 1966 Nothing has ever hurt nearly as bad as this! It’s like a nightmare that you feel like you’ll never wake up from. This person, this person that you thought you knew, that you thought you could trust, […]
Don’t Give Up Hope In Your Marriage
North Carolina State basketball coach Jim Valvano inspired millions with his stirring speech ‘Don’t Give Up, Don’t Ever Give Up’ in which he shared insights gained from his valiant battle against cancer. Although his body eventually did succumb to the disease in April of 1993 after a grueling 10-month battle, his ‘never give up’ champion’s […]
Divorce Destroyer
OK, maybe the title of this article is a little bit dramatic sounding, but I really wanted to get the attention of those of you whose marriages are teetering on the brink of divorce or those of you who know couples in dire straits. Through my 15 years as a therapist, I have come across […]