Several months ago I heard from a woman who was really excited about an article that I had written for Christianity Today. She gave a copy of it to all of her friends and family. She then offered to write a testimonial of how the article fit with what she had lived through in her […]
Tag: marriage
Blow Up Doll Marriage – Indianapolis Marriage Counseling
A guy said something really funny but also very poignant in my Men’s Group this week. My description of his wife’s severe Codependency on their wedding day made him picture standing at the altar with a blow up doll. By both of their accounts she was a non-person, a chameleon, adoring, passive, inauthentic, too other […]
An Affair Does NOT Have to End Your Marriage
If your marriage has been affected by an affair please try to be open and take in the concepts that I will share. I will discuss the root causes of most affairs as well as the ingredients needed to not only salvage the marriage, but also to rebuild it into something better then it has […]
Welcome To Relationship Jazz – New Weekly Noblesville Daily Times Column
Jazz – according to the Encarta World Dictionary, the word can mean a lot of different things. All of them, I would contend, could be applied to the understanding of relationships. It can mean (1) “beautiful, sensual syncopated rhythms and spontaneous musical improvisations”. Relationally that would be the magical moments of connection, communication and raw […]
Two Strangers And A Baby – Andy Holzman
In my work, I’m often dealing with the history of love. An individual’s history of love relationships are useful in predicting future behaviors and more importantly, identifying and changing destructive patterns. For instance, a client will tell me about her love life and certain patterns emerge. Patterns of intensity, closeness, romance, sex, abuse and abandonment […]
Managing Abandonment Issues Through Recovery
Abandonment Issues are a consistent hypersensitivity to any and all perceived or actual distancing in a relationship. You can’t fix it. It is way too deeply embedded in the personalities of those who suffer from it. You can’t even manage it…unless as the significant other you first see it, understand it, name it and detach […]
Our False Selves Masquerade As The Real Deal
Who do want for people to think that you are? Halloween is coming up, what mask are you planning to wear? Would you be ashamed if everyone you know fully knew everything about you? Would there be some scandalous revelations? Personally, I sort of like for people to see me as intelligent, successful, in charge, […]
Sweet Marital Empathy – Loving Your Spouse’s Wounded Inner Child
The most difficult part of my job is observing the ugly, hurtful, embarrassing, belittling, disrespectful, reactive, mean, overly entitled and selfish ways that couples at times treat each other. It is like watching a train wreck at times. The best part of my job is having the honor of observing couples in moments of vulnerability, […]
What Is The Prognosis For Your Marriage?
Recently a client of mine brought in the following short story for me to read: “There is a little boy, an only child, and he has a chronic illness. His doctor, who also happens to be his mom, doesn’t know if she will ever be able to cure him. She spends a lot of time […]
3 Ways to Improve Your Relationship Immediately – Angie Capretti
1. Stop acting like your partner is a disappointment. Usually when this dynamic is present it is an example of poor communication and codependency. Focus on yourself and take responsibility for your own happiness. If you have a concern or feel there is a dynamic in your relationship that you would like to change, talk […]